I am officially stealing Ellen Page’s style. Damn her skinny ass. But still. =)

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And now a “self-portrait”…

I’m determined to take more photographs for my blog and stuff. Blogs full of text can look so plain and boring. I know I do it, but I need somewhere to rant on occasion haha. But I am going to try and post a photo every time I update, even if it’s just a random snapshot.

Man, I wished I was as skinny as Kate Moennig.

I know it’s lame and stupid to be jealous of someone, but damn, I really am jealous. No, no, come on, being jealous just looks pathetic. Hahaha! Like I said in my last post: I don’t have a naturally “athletic” figure, so I’ll probably never look like that. I can try, but it’ll be hard. I HAVE hips haha.

I want to get my fat percentage low and then obviously replace it with some muscle, so I don’t look weak and bony. So I technically want to be more athletic and since I don’t naturally have an athletic body shape I need to work harder. I know that TV and the internet tells you that an hourglass shape is the “most desired”, I prefer the lanky, androgynous, model look. For me that is. I’m not saying you have you look like that to look good, because I actually don’t think it depends at all on your shape, whether you look good or not. There are hot skinny and curvy people in the world. I just haven’t been given a black girl’s butt to pull off the curvy look. I’m lanky, with problem areas hahaha!

New routine:

Cardio at least 4 times a week, including spin class twice a week.
I am starting kickboxing with a friend, but I think they’re on the same night as spin class so I might mix and match.
Running at least once and possibly swimming.

Then each day I’m going to focus on a body part such as: arms & chest, stomach, butt and legs.

Sunday can be a rest day haha, but I will probably spread the cardio out so I have a rest day inbetween.

This is the diet I’ve been doing for the past three months:

Water, water, water, coffee. No fizzy drinks, ugh!
Low sugar and saturated fats.
No processed shit. As raw, fresh and healthy as possible!
Plenty of protein, vegetables.
Low on carbs (since most are high in sugar, which causes cravings) apart from rye or wheat.
Not a lot of fruit either because of sugar, maybe twice a week I’ll have a portion of fruit.
Lots of veggies!

It pretty much follows the South Beach Diet and the GI diet. I like to cook things properly, rather than readymade crap. I don’t really care if it takes longer. And it isn’t that hard, btw.

I really want to do this and won’t listen to anyone giving me shit about it.

I honestly cannot STAND people trying to control me. But that’s not what this blog is going to be about. I figured boring complaints about my life wouldn’t be very interesting to others, so I’m going to think about topics to argue about or go gaga over (this has absolutely nothing to do with Lady-Shithead-Gaga).

I absolutely-freaking-want this t-shirt. And some other shizz from Alexander Wang. You can check out his website here. I also read that there’s a shop in Glasgow, which is total good luck, because I’m also planning to go there soon to raid the American Apparel store. I’ve kinda changed my style again to rocker/herion-addict/boyish again, so that’s why I’m on a shopping spree all the time (even though I have no cash lol) and trying to *cough* get skinnier…

Kate totally rocks the look I want. (I can’t decide whether that is followed by a sad face or a happy face lol) But she is tiny. And I don’t mean short, cause she’s not. She’s about 5′ 8″ and I’m 5′ 9″. I’m just not ever gonna be that skinny, cause of these fucking genetic hips x.x lol

Why can’t people be happy with what they have? Why does the entire human population insist on having more and when they get it, they want even more? Whether it’s because they don’t have enough money, don’t have enough clothes, haven’t caused someone enough pain, don’t have enough to do in their day or just need to have better grades then their friends. Why is what people have… never enough?

And the way people complain… their hair is crap that day, they aren’t skinny enough, their parents don’t love them enough, things aren’t going their way, they aren’t constantly in the centre of attention. Why are we so selfish? And why the fuck do we all hate each other because we have this weird perspective that we are the ones that don’t have enough and that everyone apart from us is getting what they want.

Why can’t we just be happy?

I’m reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I’ll update once I’ve finished.

So I haven’t really told anyone about the “diet” I’ve been on for a couple of months now. My family know and my best friend, but only because of my weird eating habits, how picky I am about unhealthy food and because sometimes it’s really hard for me to not bring it up in conversation. But I’ve decided to start a video blog (which will be anonymous as I don’t want all my friends finding it and taking the piss out of me, so good luck finding it), whether or not I will actually publish it online.

At the moment my diet has been really healthy, low sugar with lots of protein, good fats and fibre. I’ve been trying to up my exercise amount, which seems to continuously get interrupted because I keep catching the cold or some other pain in the ass illness. It is so annoying. And the thing is that I am pretty healthy all around, so I don’t know why my immune system is so crap! I am going to blame it on stress. I get stressed out really easily and apparently that’s supposed to lower your immune system because your body is focused on calming you down and whatnot.

I recently watching the “Super Skinny Me” documentary on YouTube (which I will give you the first part to below) as well as “Super Slim Me” and another show about girls who didn’t see anorexia as a disease, but as a lifestyle… yeah. Apart from the anorexia show, the other two really surprised me. I’m not saying they put me off of getting slimmer or gave me lots of tips! But I was surprised that a woman that was pretty much the same size and weight as me managed to fit into a pair of UK4 jeans after 5 weeks.

Although I would never try this, or am very unlikely to do this, I do want to try the maple syrup diet properly. I did a little bit of it for a few days, but I would like to try doing it properly for three days: just to “clean” my body before I start getting back into routine. I’m hoping to do my super healthy diet and exercise regime without getting sick again. The only thing I’m worried about is that this causes me to not be able to concentrate, or causes my migraines again, and that leads to me failing my exams. Yeah. Because my exams are three weeks after our holidays end and they begin on the 21st May. I was thinking that I could maybe just start in the summer if I want to do anything strict and just think to being healthy just now. I even considered limiting my computer/TV/DVD/anything electronic time to 1 hour a day, because I don’t even see why I would need it. Then making my exercises regime something like:

Monday – Spin Class 1 hr
Tuesday – Fitness at school 1hr
Wednesday – Spin Class 1hr
Thursday – Swimming at school 1hr
Friday – Light stretching, core exercises or yoga (lol me? yoga?)
Saturday – Easy run in the morning before I go out
Sunday – Rest day! Woo!

I think that sounds reasonable. I will probably end up doing Friday’s activities on Tuesday and Saturday as well.

Anyway, I have spoken so much in this entry. I really needed to, in order to explain everything. Which may or may not even interest you, but the main point was for me to lay out my plan to myself and just share it with anyone else on a similar “journey”. Man, I’m just so corny.

So I had my drama exam today! It went really well, I think. It helped that the examiner was so nice and we didn’t make any noticable mistakes. Actually…none I don’t think. I did stumble on my second last line on Wednesday night when we had to perform in front of the parents, but I don’t think I did in the exam =D That I can remember, anyway.

And we were actually so lucky, because we were given an improvisation (you get a prompt or theme twenty minutes before the exam to prepare) that was really similar to one we’d practiced with, so we just altered it and basically used the one we had practiced for three hours on the Sunday rehearsal.

Just for your information, we constitutes as my brother and I. I did it with him because I was a grade behind my friends (since I backed out of the Grade 5 exam last year) and didn’t want to do a monologue. I think I worked better with other people that acting by myself. I probably COULD have done some dramatic and sad scene, but… decided not to.

After swimming today, I’ve been so tired =( But I have noticed I’m getting slimmer! These weeks or exercising almost every day are finally paying off! Yay! Although I’m having to deal with my parents telling me if I get any skinnier, I’ll be invisible. It really pisses me off because I know I’m not skinny (and no I’m not one of those morons that is 10 year old girl skinny and denies it), I’m kind of slim but still classify as average. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I want to have the skinny androgynous sorta look. I LIKE that look. Then I can wear badass outfits and look GOOD =)

A lot of you are going to say I sound stupid, but whatthehell..

I’d heard of this band years ago, back when I was in my 12 year old emo phase. But I never though to listen to them until now. I love them. They may not be musical genuises or have comprehensible lyrics o.o, but they’re unique (I hate that word) and Brody Dalle has a badass voice. Plus her style rocks too. I want the top she’s wearing in the picture above lol. Plus she’s still kinda curvy (I know Rhianna and Beyonce are curvy and fit too, but they’re mainstream) AND hot, so take that sucka-skinny-bitches! ^^ No offence if you’re skinny… just yeah

You couldn’t really call them punk, because real punk only existed in the 80s (Sex Pistols, Buzzcocks, etc) when they had this whole rebellious thing going on. Nowadays, you couldn’t really classify as that because we’re in a somewhat different society now. But they do carry the same kind of style, so maybe nu punk? LOL. I dunno, but I think they’re great. Unfortunately they only have 4 singles out =(