I actually cannot think of a single thing to do. Except maybe revise, but I can do that in the evening, plus I’ve already done loads and would really like to do something else before I go back to school. SO the situation is: it’s Sunday and I go back to school on Tuesday. My mum has to call the spa again tomorrow morning to see if we can go there TOMORROW. And as much as I’d love to go, I don’t see it happening, now that she’s calling on the day.

And shit, I am so stressed out. I feel like an idiot, I just feel so stupid and like I’m not smart enough for my exams. I hate Chemistry and Physics, and have not actually done as much Latin as I should have. I got a D for Latin in my mocks, so I know that if I at least learn the vocab, then I could get a C (since I didn’t learn it for the mocks lol). But AHH! I’m so fucking stressed out! I started crying in the kitchen just because I couldn’t cut a courgette and then my mum tried to take it off me, but I wouldn’t let her because that would make me even more pathetic. So then I started making my food while crying, which just makes me seem like a dumbass.

Having constant anxiety doesn’t help either. Seriously, I want drugs. I’m not saying they ‘fix’ you, but god I wish there was a quick-fix to anxiety, so I could just get on with things. I don’t want to panic about everything. Which reminds me, I almost had a panic attack the other day (over something stupid that I’m not going to mention). Now that shocked me. I knew that I worried a lot, cried a lot and got stressed a LOT. But I really was starting to shake, get clammy hands, heart palpatations and all that shit O.O I think it’s getting worse.

Anyway… this blog was about being bored. How did I end up getting all personal? Maybe I’ll delete it all. Actually I’ll post this anyway and see how it goes. If I get shit, then I’ll delete it. Oh the hilarity of my blog about my German exchange and my parents reading it xD Wow, that sucked. Anyhoo, I’m fucking bored! So if you have any suggestions on stuff to do before I go back to school that doesn’t involved studying, let me know!

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS! I totally got my friends on FB by saying I was allowed a boob job for my birthday.

First of all, I want to “advertise” Alex Evans’ blog, because I absolutely love his new theme! I swear… everytime he has a new layout I want to steal it.

http://alexevans.net

And one of my friends recently started a blog, so check it out:

http://welcometoabetterlife.wordpress.com/

Apart from that, not too much has been happening. I’m halfway through the first week of the holidays and really need to study a hella more for the GCSE exams coming up. I haven’t revised an awful lot and really really really need to! I really want to get mostly As and Bs, because in that pathetic sort of way, I want my parents to be proud of me. I’ve been off absent a lot this year (for various reasons), which has affected my grades and they seem to be convinced that I won’t even pass my GCSEs. Maybe that’s their trick of getting me to pay attention, but to be honest its just making me depressed as fuck and not helping a damn bit. I feel like everything is building up into this giant ball of anger in me and one day I’m not going to stop screaming. Man, I’m so full of hate/anger just now. Or rather the past three months. Which leads me to being completely unsocial, isolated, catching every fucking cold that’s going around and having the worst migraines every week. Peachy.

On a lighter note, I LOVE this guy. This is his newest video, but some of the others are even funnier so check them out. Especially the one where he’s in Texas, the caller one and some of the other newest. He’s so funny! And totally gorgeous.

are so annoying sometimes. I won’t go into huge detail but I will bring up one thing! There’s two English papers in the two different exams. I got an averaged A in English Literature which was awesome! Then the English Language I got an A* in one paper! I was raving! I’ve never gotten an A* ever and I really want a good English grade because of art/film/screenwriting aspirations. But the second paper… I’d apparently left out a question, which I either mis-read on what/how many you were supposed to do or wasn’t told to ignore the unstructions and it ended up being a D, even though I got a 28/30 and 23/30 on the questions I did do! One of the English teachers told me my answers were brilliant but because I’d forgotten one… I think this is where I use my brother’s annoying “facepalm” word. At least it only averaged up to a B, but man! I HAD AN A FUCKING *!

It’s only the mocks… but I wanted to use them as predicted grades for part-time jobs and applying to schools. So would it be wrong of me to put A* instead of the B on my CV? Since I know I can get it and would have if I’d done the question!

I feel so relaxed now that most of the exams are over. This is the first day I can just relax and not have to study or be desperate to sleep. I actually expected to sleep in but I was meant to go into the art department at school and then to the hairdressers. None of that happened though because the bus didn’t show up and I wasn’t able to get an appointment for today. Which is really annoying because I haven’t had my hair cut or dyed properly in ages. It feels so messy.

I watched Waking Life this afternoon and it was really good. A lot of people thought Richard Linklater was just trying to create something that seemed philosophical for dumb people. That really annoyed me. I haven’t seen a lot of films similar, but I really enjoyed it. The characters asked a lot of questions I’ve been asking a lot and I was glad to see others thought the same way. Plus I loved that cartoon style, that they also used in A Scanner Darkly.

If you have any movie suggestions that are similar or you just really enjoyed let me know. I like more artsy, independent films but regular ones are good too

I try not to talk about school too much, because I know it’s a boring subject and nothing unordinary. I’m studying for my mock exams and the moment, knowing I should have started at the start of the holidays. I revised loads last time and wasn’t overly happy with my results. They were good enough, but my science results sucked (parents were not pleased) and I’m having to resit them. So when everyone else is finished with their GCSEs, two weeks later I have to do more exams. Yay. I think some others will probably be resitting too, so at least I won’t be the only one. I can’t believe how goddamn awful I did on multiple choice! Pathetic! Haha.

I’ve taken some good pictures in the snow recently. More are over on my deviantart page.

Haven’t been sleeping well and I’m always tired >.< Plus I feel like I haven’t exercised in so long. I was planning on going swimming in the holidays but with Christmas and now studying, it doesn’t seem like I’ll have time. I’d probably go if we lived in the city, but because we’re in the country it’s so much effort to get my mum to take me and pick me up again. Can’t wait till I can drive!

Well I have to get back to my history revision. South Africa, here I come!

I’m watching Labyrinth just now! I love this film, but I haven’t seen it for ages. When I saw it today in the school library I had to borrow it, hehe. For those who don’t know (gaspshockhorror), it’s a movie about a girl whose little brother is kidnapped by the Goblin King (played by David Bowie) and she has to enter this labyrinth to find him. It’s really silly, but fun and a “classic”. You should check it out if you haven’t seen it. I also borrowed Moulin Rouge but I think I’ll watch that tomorrow night if I have time. Unfortunately I have my history coursework and an English assignment for Friday, so I’ll be busy writing tomorrow night.

Which reminds me, I’m not always going to be able to get on here to update my blog. But to be honest, this is the most I’ve ever written in a blog and remembered to update, so I’m doing pretty good. If anyone is even reading this, thank you! I appreciate it. I haven’t exactly had anything fascinating to say lately, mainly due to the fact that my life hasn’t been entirely fascinating lately. Just coursework and watching films haha. My blog will be more exciting once I start uploading more photographs (have to wait until I can get some daylight, which is near impossible after I’m back from school), tutorials and videos. I’m planning to record some covers (singing and guitar) soon, which I’ve been meaning to do for a long time. I got a studio microphone LAST Christmas and I’ve only uploaded a few things months ago. I’ve reheared plenty of songs, but haven’t actually gotten to the stage where I’ll upload it for the public. Maybe sometime soon