Heavy Metal / Rock n Roll (with a bit of glam rock in there too):

1. AC/DC – Back In Black
2. Nazareth – Hair of the Dog
3. Guns N Roses – Anything Goes
4. The Cure – Friday I’m In Love
5. Joan Jett and the Blackhearts – Bad Reputation
6. Patti Smith – Because The Night
7. KISS – Crazy Crazy Nights
8. Motorhead – Ace of Spades
9. Mötley Crüe – Girls Girls Girls
10. Stryper – To Hell With The Devil
11. David Bowie – Scary Monsters (& Super Creeps)
12. Blue Oyster Cult – Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll
13. Black Sabbath – Paranoid
14. Metallica – Enter Sandman

Electronica / Synth / New Wave (with a bit of… hip-hop? teh fook?!):

1. Goldfrapp – Ride A White Horse
2. Ladytron – Seventeen
3. Lady Sovereign – So Human
4. Peaches – You Love It
5. Peaches – Trick of Treat
6. Sneaker Pimps – Loretta Young Silks
7. DV Roxx – Hardcore Mutha Fucka
8. Goldfrapp – Train
9. Origene – Sanctuary

Rock / Indie / Reggae / Other

1. Two Door Cinema Club – Undercover Martyn
2. We Have Band – Love, What You Doing?
3. The White Stripes – Fell In Love With A Girl
4. Alice in Chains – Lesson Learned
5. Biffy Clyro – Bubbles
6. Bob Marley & The Wailers – Jamming
7. Broken Social Scene – Lover’s Spit
8. Dead Sara – Some Have It Bad
9. Little Fish – Am I Crazy?
10. The Distillers – Young Crazed Peeling
11. Stereophonics – A Thousand Trees
12. Franz Ferdinand – Ulysses
13. Muse – Resistance

And more, but I cba…

You always hated when I asked that question. It’s a tricky question you used to say. That it’s an illusion to pretend that we can bridge the gap between your thoughts and mine. For you, every person is like a planet and two different planets can never become one. Two people together will always be: one plus one. I preferred to think of us as bubbles, because when they touch, they merge into one another like when two people make love. But now I know what you meant. Two people together will always be one plus one.

… like the one I had last night: I was pregnant and had to deliver the baby by myself, even though I was in the middle of a supermarket. No-one really acknowledged me though. Not as if I was invisible, but as if nothing perculiar was happening. But when I was delivering the baby, I had actually cut my stomach open and had to take the baby out in pieces. It was mainly its limbs and torso, because it’s head and shoulderblades were stuck. I remember asking someone (I think it was my mum?) for help, because I knew I was dying if I didn’t get the baby out soon. And the feeling was unreal. I honestly felt like I was dying, as if it was harder to breathe and I felt empty like my life was slipping away from me. In my dream, though, it was all so normal. Like the idea of grabbing a baby (nevertheless in pieces) out of my stomach was normal. The most odd dream I’ve had in a while.

I can feel my anxiety coming back and I’m really fucking terrified about going back to school. I know I WANT to go back, but I’m so scared things don’t change. Last year sucked ass. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t do backstage drama because I felt like a useless piece of shit, I hardly took part in anything, I got so stressed that I constantly made myself sick… and I don’t want any of that to happen again.

I want to set up a Amnesty group for my school, I want to take part in drama more than I ever have (but I feel like my drama teacher doesn’t trust me now and isn’t going to give me a second chance, even though I want to somehow prove that I can change), I want to learn French (but the French teacher has been a bitch to my family because of my brother’s Japanese lessons and she might just take it out on me. Doesn’t help to have my mum telling me this.), I want to take part in the dance group, I want to get really athletic (which is impossible if you get sick every second week) and get a really good IB so I can go where I want. I don’t want to screw this all up and repeat last year. And I’m so scared my exam results aren’t good enough. You have no idea how much I am panicking over this.

Why the fuck do I have to be the one with this stupid thing?! I want to kill it. I want it to stop controlling my life. I want it to stop making me a self-obsessed bitch.

That’s what I do all the time, but it doesn’t really work. Or maybe it does. Yes, I think it does. I think it has worked in the past. But you can’t keep it up for long… because if you do – keep acting as this character you’ve made up as if life were a novel – you’ll eventually go crazy and lose yourself. They say you should be who you are, but what does that even mean? If I was myself, I don’t think I would ever do anything. I would just lie on my bedroom floor, not eating or sleeping or talking, until I rotted away into nothing.

I want to live somewhere like this…

from American(?) Vogue
by Joan Juliet Buck

Joan Juliet Buck, a devoted short-hair convert, explains why it makes a difference.

Hair is time.

Women with short hair always look as if they have somewhere else to go. Women with long hair tend to look as if they belong where they are, especially in California. Short hair takes a short time. Long hair takes a long time. Long hair moves faster than short hair. Long hair tells men that you are all woman, or a real woman, or at the very least a girl. Short hair always makes them wonder. Short hair makes children ask each other –usually at the school-yard gate, when parents are late– “Are you a boy or girl?” Men married to women with short hair should not have affairs with women who have long hair kept up with many little pins and combs. Once you have cut your hair you have to remember to wear lipstick, but you can put away the brush, elastics, and the black barrettes in the form of shiny leaves with rhinestone hearts. When you cut your hair you lose a nose and gain a neck. A neck is generally better than a nose. It does not need to be powdered, except on extreme occasions. It does, however, need to be washed more often.

With short hair you suddenly dislike the month of March, when the wind blows down the back of your neck. With short hair you begin to crave pearl necklaces, long earrings, and a variety of sunglasses. And you brush your teeth more often. Short hair removes obvious femininity and replaces it with style. When it starts growing out a little and losing its style, you have to wear sunglasses until you can get it to the hairdresser. That’s why you need a variety. Short hair makes you aware of subtraction as style. You can no longer wear puffed sleeves or ruffles; the neat is suddenly preferable to the fussy. You eye the tweezers instead of the blusher. What else can you take away? You can’t hide behind short hair. Your nape is exposed. Men put their hands around your neck instead of stroking your long locks. You can only pray they have friendly intentions. The backs of your ears show, your jaw line is clear to anyone watching, and you realize –perhaps for the first time– how wide the expanse of skin is between cheekbone and ear.

You may look a little androgynous, a little unfinished, a little bare. You will look elegant, as short hair requires you to keep your weight slightly below acceptable levels. However, the first time you wear a bathing suit with short hair, you will feel exceptionally naked. People who used to look straight at you will love you in profile. Short hair makes others think you have good bones, determination, and an agenda. The shape of your skull is commented on, so are its contents. They can pick you out in a crowd, and you can be recognized from behind, which can be good or bad. But your face is no longer a flat screen surrounded by a curtain: the world sees you in three dimensions.

Chase to the cut.

We’re back home now, after a tedious and somewhat uncomfortable train ride. We arrived at the station just after five am (ugh!), took my gran back to her house, stopped by tesco and then dragged ourselves to our own humble abode. I kept falling asleep in the car… And when we got home I had lots of mail waiting, which made me feel better haha. I had bought a book, a DVD and a sleeveless denim jacket online, and also had some letters from various people. Which included the “gift” from the band Little Fish. They were doing this promotional type thing where they would send 100 little drawings to the first people to sign up and I managed to get in. They do it now and again, so if you don’t get in the first time you can try another.

So I already went through most of the things we did in the other blog entry, but now I have photographs. This one is my brother and me sitting in Pizza Express, where we had dinner on our last day. I tried their new thing (well, I haven’t been in quite a while) where you kind of get a donut shape pizza with salad in the middle haha. I didn’t want to go for the usual pasta thing or veggie pizza, so I thought I’d try this and it was pretty good. I’m not a huge fan of pizza, but there weren’t a lot of options for dinner. I objected to going to another shitty Indian or Chinese place… I’ve had enough carbs this holiday. What is it with going on holiday and not getting any decent yet afforable food? Haha.

I may or may not have mentioned seeing Dirty Dancing in the previous post… They were sold out of Wicked tickets so we went to see Dirty Dancing instead. We being only my brother and I, since my gran wasn’t feeling too great after walking so much. My parents were going to the British Library together or somewhere in Leicester Square, I can’t remember. The musical was surprisingly good! I was a little wary after seeing the movie so many times, but I really really enjoyed it! My brother, Connor, did too, which surprised me aswell hahaha. The actors were very talented and it was a nice change for them to actually sing some of the songs: although they were mainly performed by the non-speaking parts. It was a little odd how they did some of the scenes, using a turning circular platform to change from scene to scene and having a car on the stage etc, but it was smartly written. Definitely recommend it to anyone that is ever in the area!

At the lack of remembering anything else… here’s a nice photograph of our Travelodge. No, I don’t recommend staying here if you can afford better haha.